Bert is Evil!
conspiring
with that infamous ex-football player, ex-moviestar, ex-husband
and axe-murderer, O.J. Simpson. It's a well-kept secret that
Bert was actually part of O.J.'s defense team during the first
trial, 
and was also the only person in whom O.J. fully confided.
Interestingly enough, photograph no. 2 was taken exactly ten
minutes before the murders took place. (Also, did you know that
yellow lint was found at the crime scene? It's true! It was
exhibit no. 156a during the first trial).I know I am putting you and myself at risk for giving you all this infor mation, but the truth must not be stopped. What are a few casualties for the good of man and muppetkind? Use this information well, and good luck.
respectfully,
Victor J. Zuylen